It’s not unusual to feel conflicted when it comes to thinking about pregnancy and parenthood. Many women coping with fertility issues find they feel better when they examine their feelings about pregnancy, either by meditating, going to therapy, or by joining an infertility support group, especially one that’s mind/body directed. Joel Evans offers this visualization.

To start, find a quiet place with minimal distractions where you can sit or lie down with ease. Begin by breathing deeply and emptying the mind of cluttering thoughts. When you are in a relaxed state, start to form a picture of yourself pregnant or holding a baby. What do you see? How do you feel? Are there colors? What is the light like? Focus on the image, paying close attention to its details and the emotions that come up while it is in your mind’s eye. Are you happy? Sad? Excited? Ambivalent? Tired? Energized?

When you have s strong sense of the image and feelings it inspires, stay with it for a few minutes and then start to come back to the world around you. Take some time to either draw or write down what you saw and felt. Try not to judge yourself or censor your feelings—there are no right or wrong answers, just your experience as it was. This exercise is not about changing anything; it’s about identifying all of your emotions and gaining clarity about what’s important to you at this point in your life.

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